Want to be happier and more successful? Commit to doing one good thing for yourself every day for a month.
Want to be happier? Start by being good to yourself. That may sound obvious, but too many people skip this step and try to make themselves happy by pursuing higher goals, or maintaining themselves to a higher standard of perfection.
Ironically, being good to yourself will bring you closer to reaching those grand ambitions, said Daylle Deanna Schwartz, speaker, columnist, and author of 15 books, including “Easy Businessman.” “The more you value yourself, the more you will in the workplace, the more you build confidence, ”he says.
In fact, the happiest people try hard to treat themselves right and they do something good for themselves every day. They set proper boundaries and take care of themselves by not saying things when they need to. “When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don’t want to do is a good act, and you’re not walking with negative feelings toward someone who asks you to do something you don’t want to do. to do, “Schwartz said.
Not only is being good to yourself good to your career, it’s also good to your relationship, he added. “The more you build your self-esteem, the more you have to give to others.”
Here are 11 acts of kindness that people take for themselves – and you should:
1. Commit to doing one good thing for yourself every day.
Schwartz invites visitors to his site to sign a 31-day pledge to “do your best to do something that is pleasing to myself, no matter how big or small.” Whether you want to sign or not, making a commitment means you will remind yourself every time day to treat yourself with love.
Keeping that commitment will bring real benefits, he said. “It motivates you to take care of yourself, to pursue your dreams, and not to let people treat you badly.”
2. Listen to yourself.
That is, listen to how you speak to yourself, and the internal sound you use. (Mine tends to resemble my mom in college.) “We often criticize ourselves in the head and it lowers our confidence,” Schwartz said. “When you love yourself, you know that you’re good enough that you should stop talking to yourself negatively.”
3. Forgive yourself.
“Forgiveness is a big part of that,” Schwartz said. “It’s hard, because most of us get angry with ourselves for everything we do wrong all our life. People get into trouble because they try so hard to be perfect and then they beat themselves up when they don’t. Loving yourself means accepting that you are trapped in your own imperfect skin. “
Schwartz recommends this exercise to start forgiving yourself: “Look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you and I forgive you.’”
4. Accept yourself as you are right now.
To begin with, that means accepting the body you have today. “Body image is a huge stumbling block, and so is age,” he said. “When you love yourself, you try to be the best you can be in the body that you have, and that’s as much as you can.”
Acceptance also means accepting your income and your level of success as it is, he said. “It’s okay to not make a certain amount when you reach a certain age,” he said. “Entrepreneurs get a lot of criticism when people say, ‘Why are you wasting your time doing that?’ Or ‘You’re not successful enough!’”
Instead, she recommends asking herself a simple question: “Am I happy with what I do?” She herself sells a successful summer recreation business when she finds it too daunting. “I ended up earning less but I’m happier.”
5. Eliminate toxic people in your life and work.
This may be easier said than done, but avoid bonding with clients, business partners, investors, or employees that make you unhappy. It’s obviously harder to take the same approach with family members, but Schwartz says there’s no reason to hold back when people say or do bad things. “If people say bad things to me, I tell them if they talk to me like that I will go or hang up,” he said.
6. Prioritize your health.
“I took supplements and vitamins, exercised, and I recently reduced my sugar for seven weeks as an act of self-love,” Schwartz said. But be careful – don’t let your health change into an excuse to blame yourself if you slip. “Yesterday, I had Twinkies,” he said. “I’ve been wanting them since they temporarily stopped selling them. So I bought some and ate them. I don’t blame myself when I get a gift. “
7. Stop skipping meals.
“People say, ‘I’ve been so busy that I don’t have time to eat today,’” Schwartz said. “It’s a very unpopular thing to do. Take something, even if it’s just a salad. “
Neuroscience tells us that letting your blood sugar sink sends stress signals to your brain. So if you really can’t stop and eat, make sure you have a healthy snack on your desk.
Remember that when you are stressed, overworked, or frustrated, simple breathing exercises can dramatically increase your intelligence, says Schwartz. “If you take a deep breath during the day, you can calm down and not let the stress get to you or make you sick.”
9. Give yourself a welcome space.
For years, Schwartz had never made his bed, just tossed a blanket over it. Now she makes it every day for a simple reason: “Walking into my bedroom when my bed makes me smile.”
Take the same approach with your workspace, he suggests. Create as many cells as you can. Tidy up your work space and get rid of things you don’t need will make you feel more at ease and more in control, he said. But don’t limit yourself to just saying. “Make sure you have the environment and office space you want and it’s a great place for you to work,” he said. “There are fresh flowers on your desk. Take it seriously. ”
10. Get some sunshine.
“Many people work in dark rooms. It’s very unhealthy and unloving, “Schwartz said. Try working in a place where you have access to natural light, he suggests. If that is not possible, invest in a full spectrum light bulb. Whatever it is, be sure to go for a walk as often as you can.
11. Buy premium products for yourself.
Does this sound like you? If you bring a bag of coffee to someone else, you choose a luxury brand in a great package, but if you buy it yourself, you choose a store brand or other inexpensive option. It’s fine if you are one of these people whose taste buds all taste the same. But if you prefer more expensive brands, you should do so, says Schwartz.
“Very often we spend money on others but we are cheap on our own,” he said. “A better brand is just a few dollars, and every time you use it, you reinforce that you are worth it.”